Bedtime

Everyime I look at her, I'm amazed. I can't believe something that beautiful is half me. The half that is from him, I can see that, because he is that beautiful to me too. But she is half me.

Mist people actually say she looks the moat likeme, and I agree that her features resemble my baby pictures most than his. But I don't thunk she loos like me now.

First of all, I don't think I'm beautiful. Even wijiutnall of this pregnancy weight, and left over post pregnancy weight (yes, it's possible to have both at the same time) I've never thought o myself as beautiful. It isn't because people never told me I was, because they did, it's just that my two best friends were (are) supermodel beautiful and I was told how pretty they were a lot. By guys I had been hoping to date.

But she's here, half me, and absolutely georgeous. One thing she definately got from me is her laugh. Her daddy doesn't laugh outnloud much, it is one of my hobbies. Hyperventalating belly laughing. She does that too.

Her litle broter is growing inside if me right now, building up strength for the day very soon when he will be born. This pregnancy has been a lot harder in sOme ways, alot easier in others. It's hard now, hard not to worry about what is happening to my body, about what the consequenses might be if he is born too soon. Part of me wants to protect him by refusing, not matter what the dr says, to have him before I eiher begin labor naturally or hit 37 weeks. But the other part of me wants to be sure I'm here and healthy enough to watch him grow up. I'm not sure which is more selfish- I couldn't live with myself if he has some horrible health problems because he's premature, but I'm not much help sick or worse.

Amanda Moon