Wondering...

I haven't written in a long time. I spent the month of September essentially living at the studio, teaching around 20 hours a week and finally knocked out all of my observation hours. I have 6 more self practice hours to meet my goal of completing 135 hours by October 15, which will leave me with 40 self practice and 20 apprentice teaching to complete after Lily comes. Once I complete these 6, I am going to stop until she arrives. My body is tired.

My website is essentially up. I need to add a few things yet, but you can view it at www.pilatesformommies.net if you want to check it out. I met with a small business adviser a month or so ago, it was the most frustrating, unproductive 2 hours of my life ever. He kept telling me that I should start a clothing line, and buy ad space in the magazines they give away for free at Kroger. Um, no, and...no. I have thought about eventually having a line of workout clothes for pregnant women, because, lets face it, they are impossible to find and when you do, they are ugly. But not until much farther down the road. I don't want to take out a huge loan right now! Plus- buying ad space in free publications would most certainly not target women who are going to pay $15 to come to a fitness class.

I contacted my old boss to see if there was a possibility of me coming back in some form or fashion at the beginning of the new year. I haven't heard back from her yet, which is making me nervous. Her kids might be on fall break though, in which case she might not be working. '

I'm having a hard time going back and forth between thinking I need to be working more than I will when I'm teaching, and the idea of putting Lily in daycare. Quite honestly, the thought terrifies the crap out of me. We don't know anyone with kids in daycare in our area, and we keep hearing stories of kids getting abused, neglected, or forgotten at childcare facilities. Plus, I want to be the one to teach her how to read and write and count like my mom did for me. But there is still a part of me that wants to work...can I hold off on that until she starts school? Can I provide her the social interactions she needs until then? If I do keep her home with me until she's 5, am I going to be comfortable letting her go to a public school? These are the questions I'm struggling with right now.