Church Pew Headboard

So my google reader recommended a new blog for me today: Design*Sponge. I thought, hey, I need a quick break, I'll check it out.

Oh.
My.
Goodness.

How amazing is this:


I love my cheap, bought on clearance for $100 but looks like it costs thousands headboard. But this is just too amazing for words. A pew headboard may be in my future.

Harry Potter and Revelations 21

I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) yesterday afternoon. As I tweeted, my life can now resume. There is something about those books that makes doing anything else (cleaning, writing, blogging, sleeping) nearly impossible. What happens? How's it end?

Then we went to church, the first time we've been to Sunday night church in at least 4 years I think- and the sermon was on Revelations 21 and how it's not just a peachy "happily ever after" that was thrown in the Bible to make us all feel better. It didn't really have any day-to-day applicability.

Except that it does- the day-to-day applicability is that we have hope in knowing that one day we will be able to say "the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God." He is not going to "fix" this world, he is going to bring a "new heaven and a new earth."

If you haven't read the last of the Harry Potter series and intend to, read the rest of this later.

I couldn't help but consider, while I was sitting there in church, how much the character of Harry Potter is a Jesus figure in the story. He doesn't create a new heaven and a new earth, but he does defeat evil once and for all by dying and rising again, and he makes his home with his people, living among them.

Now, Harry never claims to be a diety or anything, and it's just a story, I personally don't beleive it's blaphemous. The Christian college I used to attend taught classes to the Elementary Ed majors about the series and how it could or could not be used without contradicting Christianity. There are a series of books available on Amazon debating whether it's all witchcraft and therefore evil or if there is something we could learn.

I say, if you know someone who cannot grasp who Jesus is and what He did, it seems that using the Harry Potter example would be a way to speak on their level. We just need to be careful not to replace Jesus with Harry Potter.

The gospel seems to be a hot storyline these days in general: between the Chronicals of Narnia series that Disney is working through, The Lord of the Rings, Lost, Harry Potter... the tools for using relevant media are abundant right now. As Christians, I hope we are using them and not fighting them.

Gotta love it:

I visited a new coffee shop today: Vienna House over off of Caruthers Parkway behind Boscos. I had wonderful coffee, but I was most impressed by the bathroom- first of all- actual towels for the hands. Second- a beautiful dresser with a changing table! As the mother of two small children, that shows me the thoughtfulness of the proprietors even more than the lovely, comfortable seating and decorations.

June Goals Update

As I was afraid might happen, as things got crazy-busy at work this spring I lost track of my goals and neglected my monthly check-isn. I also focused so intently on fishing The Pilates Lifestyle that I forgot about other writing projects all together, save for a few one-off pieces I did here and there.

Well, I'm back now, and sitting down with the goals. I was excited to find out how many I had achieved, but shocked to realize that I had much higher hopes for getting my clothing line off the ground than I have realized.

Now I'm in a quandary: what do I do?

I have plenty to do to get my easy stores going: i have one up but have yet to make a sale. I could definitely do with spending some time focusing on getting that off the ground.
I could re-dedicate myself to writing a few query letters each month (i think 10 is too many) to try to get some regular, paying writing gigs.
I need to decide what my next writing "project" is and get started on it.
I could focus my weekly time (yes, I get one afternoon/evening of alone time each week. I'm lucky, I know. I call it sanity time.) on really putting some more effort into getting this clothing line off the ground.

How do I decide? Each of these things is very important to me. However, 2 of the four require a monitory investment that I'm not sure how to come up with. I would love to get the clothing line going- if nothing else so I could have better clothes to work out in. But I don't have the faintest idea where to start, and that's paralyzing!

I do know that I need to revise some of my deadlines, and, in turn, some of my expectations of myself. While I would like to think I can put as much effort into all of these dreams as I would a full time job, the reality is that my actual full time job, along with my part time job and my family, take up a lot of energy. I had thought that I got further along postpartum I would have more energy, and I do, but I also have fewer waking hours that the kids aren't awake. They are too young right now to fully focus on anything else if they are around, so while I can get little things done here and there, I can't do "projects" except during my Sanity time.

What goals are you currently working towards? Are you at a crossroads? How do you decide where to go next?

They don't 'em like they used to!

My parents got this blender when they got married 32 years ago. It still works. When I first moved to Nashville I went through 4 blenders in 3 years. They just don't make the same high-quality kitchen appliances these days I guess. A few years ago I did bite the bullet and buy this one (same brand as Mom & Dads) and it's still working. Let's see if it lasts for 30+ years!

In my old room

I'm at my parents' house with the kids through the end of the month. It was a very fun, spur of the moment (a month ago) trip that came up because of random circumstances with Chris's job that would make it convenient for him to be in Minneapolis in a week. So, rather than come for 2 days, we came for 10.

It's so funny- I always come up here thinking that I'll be able to relax and just get away from everything, when, in reality, it's usually just as busy if not more while I'm here.

I have to work my regular hours the whole time I'm here because I'm hoarding my last week of vacation for our planned family trip in August.

I want to reconnect with some friends I haven't seen in a long time.

I want to nap.

I want to go take pictures.

I want to play in the lake.

I want to get away and figure out what's next for me. It's time to move on to something new.

I need to have a goal check in.


This is what my friends and I painted on my bedroom wall on my 16th birthday. It's no masterpiece, but it struck me when I saw it today that art has always been in my life in some form. I made some of the furniture in my parent's living room. I took several of the pictures on the walls. I got in a river for my graduation pictures for heaven's sake! There is this artsy fartsy side of me that is dying to become more. More what? is what I need to start to unravel.

Tightening our belts

Last fall, my husband's job situation changed, and since, we have been working to be more careful with our spending. We have a budget and try to use cash as much as possible. The only debt that we have is our cars and our houses.

But we both struggle. We don't live in a society that encourages saving, careful consideration of spending or even a conscious awareness of spending. When so many websites so kindly store your credit card information, with one click bata-bing-bata-boom- you are the new owner of this or that knick knack and your budget is shot.

We have frugal friends, but no one ever seems to go without. Wants are bought on a whim, vacations are scheduled and taken. I struggle with jealousy for what I think others have a lot, when, in reality, I know that they probably have a mountain of credit card debt following them around.

What is your budget philosophy? How do you determine when a "want" is worth it and when the money in the savings account really needs to just stay there? Has your outlook on this changed in the last few years?

Lovely

Ha! Somehow I accidentally just published this post without actually writing it. So...if you see the blank one, sorry about that!

I had such a lovely evening last nigh. I came home from work with a throbbing headache on the verge of turning into a full-on migraine (I've been having a lot of these lately, not fun) so Chris took the kids to the playground without me and I took a half hour nap. Between the meds, the nap and dinner, I was able to stave off the full on headache. Chris helped me get the kids bathed and then he headed out for a show.

I settled in and got to play with my kids. Then, when they went to bed I finished the last 150 or so pages of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I sat outside for a while to read and saw a mama bird feeding her baby. I made some popcorn. When I was on the second to last page, Austin started crying and I got to rock him to sleep while he cuddled into my shoulder, something this active child rarely ever does. I went to bed and laid and talked to my husband, who I seem to never see anymore, for a long time before falling asleep in his arms.

It was a lovely night.

My Favorite Accessory

I love necklaces. I love how they can bring out colors in my outfit, draw attention to, well, you know, the girls, and how they can just make me feel pretty.

Today I'm wearing this necklace from What's In Store, my favorite store right now. I love it because it inspires me. I make jewlery, and ever since the first time I walked in I've been inspired to make more and do more. I only buy things that I don't think I can make myself. They are my treats.

Mother's Day

I had a lovely Mother's Day yesterday. First, I was woken up by my 2 year old at 6am (it was early, but sweet). Then we all got dressed--no showers--and took a beautiful drive down the Natchez Trace to have breakfast at the Loveless Cafe. The biscuits really are incredible.

Then we decided to go to church, even though we weren't dressed for it. Great service, home and the kids down for a nap, I ran a few errands and came back and spent the rest of the afternoon writing and reading. After the kids got up from their naps and we had my favorite food of all time for supper- Taco Rice Hotdish- we took the kids to the playground.

It was a wonderful day and I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family!

Flood

The flood coverage is terrifying, especially because I'm not home. I'm thankful that Chris and the kids went to Kentucky yesterday so I haven't had to worry about their safety. I spoke to the President of out home owners association thus morning and he assured me that the neighborhood was okay, but I can't help but be nervous about what I will find when (if) I make it home tomorrow. The weather channel said the rain is supposed to quit by midnight, I hope they're right and that the airport re-opens tomorrow.

Amanda Moon

World class procrastinator

I am a world class procrastinator. For instance, right now, I have a very specific task I should be doing, and it has nothing to do with this blog. However, I don't want to do it. So, I read a few blogs, and now I'm typing one. I also want to draw a picture of a clock to illustrate this entry (if it's here, I did it.) Probobly going to happen.

I don't think procrastination is always bad. In fact, I know that if I put a time limit on my procrstination, I feel better when I'm done and am able to focus better.

So- procrastinate away. Just make sure you have a list of what really needs to get done so you remember what to go back to.

Need to simplify

Just a warning- there some changes coming up here and on my other two sites: Pilatesformommies.net and ThePilatesLifestyle.com. I need to simplify, and, minimally, I'm going to combine my umpteen blogs into one. I'm going to keep Lily's separate because, after all, it's hers, but the whole split personality thing is getting to me. More to come.

My butterfly

It's been a very, very frustrating day. Actually, that's not true. I'm tired and being a bit overly dramatic. But I am just frustrated in general. Frustrated enough, in fact, that the fact that I can't figure out why the photo I just tried to upload is vertical instead of horizontal just figures and I'm going to leave it. But, oh well. The point is, I'm really frustrated and feeling really sorry for myself, but with children's church songs stuck in my head. The ones I sang, not the ones my daughter sings. I decided wanted to color. And when I got my crayons out, I drew the songs. And the drawing is nice. It's a pretty picture that reminds me that "Happiness is to be forgiven, living the life that you've been given." and "I just thank you Father for making me, Me."

Yes, things are not falling into place like I wish they would. But apparently God has a reason for that. I'm not sure what it is, but the overriding message of my day has been that God is my happiness. That's what I need to hold on to and remember.

And by the way- I forgot just how amazing oil crayons are. I first played with them at camp when I was 14, bought myself a set 3 years ago and have made, counting tonight- 4 drawings. Which means I'm averaging one a year. But I learned to paint last week and I colored this week. I think I might be an artist.

April Goals

Remember my goals? During the month of March I felt a bit lost because I didn't sit down and review them, so I felt like I was forgetting to do something. However, I only had one major goal due in March, and I accomplished it. The first draft of my book is done! I didn't accomplish any of my other ongoing goals, but that's okay. I think it's good to have just one or two big ones each month now so that I don't get too discouraged when I don't accomplish them.

My goals for April are: Finish Staircase Story and Plant Garden.

I'm hoping to also decide what is next for me. I want to streamline my life. Not sure what that means yet, but will share when I do.

Book Review: The Gospel According to Lost

I've been a Christian my whole life, and a dedicated Lost follower since the first episode. The Biblical analogies in the show haven't been lost on me, so I was very interested to read this book. It turned out not to be my cup of tea, but I could definitely see using it to create a discussion group.
After the initial introduction section, the book goes through character by character, equating them to their Biblical counterparts, and analyzing their actions through a Christian lens. Some of the analogies fit better than others- for example, equating Hurley to Jacob was a bit of a stretch, but using Sayid to illustrate the Christian view of God’s grace was more natural.
If you haven’t watched the show and plan to, you might not want to read this- it assumes you know everything that has happened through the end of the 6th season and will ruin most of the surprises. If you are into all of the spoiler resources out there, none of the references in this book will likely surprise you. It did help me connect the dots for some details I had forgotten in the 6 or so years since the show began, but since I'm not really into all of the conspiracy stuff it just didn't hold my attention.

I had an orange room too!

I love Naturally Nina's blog. She finds the most adorable and inspiring images. It's just fun to read.

Well, earlier this week she posted pictures of her condo, and I was was struck by how similar her dining area was to the one in our first house (we moved last summer). Check hers out here. Isn't it amazing?

Proof that God is a Man

Matthew 10:30: And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

If God knows all of the hairs on my head (which I beleive He does, after all, He created them), then he must be a man, because no woman would do this to another woman.

I have thick hair. In both senses: I have a lot of hair, and each strand is very, very thick. It's sort of wavy, sort of straight. Very prone to frizz. Very. I sway back and forth from very, very short, and trying to let it grow out. The longest it's every gotten is about 14 inches- I know because I cut off 12 of it and donated it to Locks of Love. I'm in the growing out phase now, it's almost to my shoulders. It's not quite long enough for a pony tail, but I wanted to do something fun this morning so I pulled what I could up into a barrett at the crown of my head.

The problem is that I did this while it was still wet. Which means that now it's looking like I have the "wet look" aka greasy going on. And I don't, it's just honestly still wet. It will more than likely stay wet until I take it out of the barrett tonight, because my hair is so thick that it doesn't dry when it's bound up. When it was longer, I once french braided it into 2 pigtails that literally stayed wet for two days. Before you think that I'm an unclean person: I showered one morning, braided my hair, and took the braids out the next night when I showered again. My hair was still wet.

I love my hair when it looks good. I just wish it didn't require so much effort!

Kindle for Mac is finally here

I'm so excited about this I had to post it. Here's the link.

Most Amazing Camera Bag Ever

Oh my goodness. I'm finally getting caught up on more than 2 weeks worth of blog reading, and Rockstar Naomi featured these AMAZING camera bags by Jo Totes. I want one. It's not in the budget right now, but if I get an art show I may buy myself one as a celebration. And an encouragement to carry my camera everywhere.

Oh what a night...

What a wonderful night! I got to hang out with my kids- I read Lily 12 books (well, she read me a few of them) fed Austin twice and got to do all of the snuggling that goes with that, and started to carve out my own writing space in the "Reading Room" - our downstairs living room. I realized my desk, although a cheapo from "The Store that Must Not be Named," weighs about a million pounds though so I have to wait for Chris to get home to help me move it downstairs. In the meantime, I am finally uploading some of my photos to Flikr so that I can apply for an art show at my church. I'm kind of excited- I know I'm no professional, but I feel like I have some pretty amazing shots. If I had the money, I would love to get a bunch of them mounted. I can add it to my "if I had money" list.

I'll post the Flikr link as soon as they're all up.

Race Relations

This is a bit random for this blog, but I was just pursuing Facebook and I am amazed at how many of the people I went to high school with are in inter-racial relationships, or have had children with people of different races. Not because I find anything wrong with either of those things, but because it is just so different than the culture we grew up in.

I'm white, and the first time I met a black person I was twelve years old. I remember wondering if her blood was red like mine was, or if it was darker because her skin was darker.

I don't think I grew up racist, I simply grew up ignorant. I know people who have disowned their children because of inter-racial marriages. I once considered dating a black man, but was afraid of what my parents would think (granted he was also 14 years older than me, I was worried about that too.)

All this to say, I am glad that although we grew up very isolated, I'm happy that so many have moved outside of our narrow past.

This is all not as eloquent as I would like, but I've had three glasses of wine tonight :)

Update on February Goals

Somehow it's March. That means it's time to revisit February's goals and make a plan for March. February wasn't the best month for me.

The only one I actually achieved was an artist date.

These are the ones I changed:
I participate in a writing workshop either online or in person. -- So excited about the Open University course I found on iTunes U, but then realized it was all geared towards stage writing. I thought I would still be able to get something out of it, but stopped about 1/3 of the way through when I realized I just wasn't getting much out of it.
By 2/28/2010 I have completed a “Best of” series of photographs and posted it on Flickr.
I have applied for an exhibit with The Village Chapel.--- Changed to 3/15
By February 28 I have completed 10 pieces for etsy store (3 per week)--Tabling this for now- def. still wanting to do it, but waiting until the book is written.
I write one chapter of The Pilates Lifestyle each week. -- Changed to 1/2 per week. Accomplished the revision.

Here is what I didn't accomplish:
I will complete one entire writing project -- didn't happen
I enter at least one writing contest
I write every day.
I write 10 query letters
I post on The Pilates Lifestyle blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday beginning February 8.
I post on the Pilates for Mommies blog every Tuesday and Thursday starting February 4.


The reason I didn't accomplish as much as I would have likes was because I didn't make a weekly plan. This is absolutely necessary for me. March goals will be up by the end of the week.

I miss you

Dear Blog,

I miss you. I don't know where the last two weeks went, but they are gone. I need to sit down and reflect on all of my February and March goals, but I don't know when I will have the tiem this week. But- I am taking a writing course tomorrow and Thursday night that I'm very much looking forward to.

I hope to be back soon.

Love,
Amanda

What do you mean it's almost 8pm?

My kids went to bed really early tonight- by 6:50 they were both snoring.  I was so excited to have the opportunity to get some writing done tonight!  So I posted a quick story on my Examiner site, my Monday Muscle entry and my Pilates for Mommies entry.  None felt like they took very long, and I was really excited to have some good quality awake time to do some real writing.  While my blog updates upload I check the clock- and it's been an hour!  An hour!  I thought 10 minutes tops.  Not an hour!  AHHHH!  I mean, I know everything I have done tonight has been writing, but it hasn't been writing.  And now the kids are crying.  Grrrrr!  My books will get written somehow!

**Clock from here

Loving Me

I struggle with my self-image. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I just don't like what I see.  I wish I was thinner.  I wish I didn't have the dark circles under my eyes that broadcast to the world that I haven't gotten enough sleep in about three years.  I wish a lot of things.

My daughter loves herself.  She hasn't gotten to that "I wish" thinking yet.  This picture is of her looking into a mirror and literally squealing with delight at what she sees.  She LOVES herself.  She gets dressed in the morning then runs to either me or daddy (whoever didn't help her) and declares "I'm cute!" We brush her hair, she turns around, kisses us and says "I'm pretty!"  

I'm going to start doing that- once I get dressed I'm going to look in the mirror and declare myself cute.  Once my hair has been brushed, I'm going to go find my husband and declare myself pretty.  Because I am gorgeous. Lily tells me a lot how pretty I am. I just need to remind myself sometimes.

I want a hot glue gun

Because I want to make this.  Brooke lives pretty close to me (a few hours) I'm starting to think I need to go meet her. (Picture of Brooke's finished box from her website.)

All better

So, obviously last night I wasn't feeling tip top, I was actually feeling overwhelmed by all that I want to do and the fact that my body requires that I get a certain amount of sleep each night because otherwise I am crabby, or worse, overly emotional.  (I haven't consistantly gotten enough sleep since before my kids were born, but my husband is amazing and he bears the brunt of the midnight (and 1, 2, 3 and 4am) trips to their rooms.) Besides sleep, I also want to spend time cuddling my kids, reading to them and playing with them.  And my husband.  And I have a full time job, and a part time job.  I've got a lot going on.  But,  I am only 28, I have much life left to lead.  I have time. I don't have to do it all now. (I should write that on a neon post it and put it on my computer!)

My Blog List- Part 1

I thought it would be fun to publish a list of the blogs I read, maybe you'll find soemthing you like! (These are in the order they appear in my Google Reader, it would be just too hard to rank them.)  I follow 25 blogs, so I'm going to split this up and just do 5 every Tuesday for the next 5 weeks so you don't get overwhelemed.

Sending Postcards: Alex and Mina are on a trip around the world and are graciously allowing us all to live vicariously through them. 

About.com Pilates: Marguerite Ogle writes all about Pilates- including interviews with master instructors, exercise demos and current trends.

Creatuitive Coaching: Entrepreneure Ana gives tips and inspiration for getting the most out of your job, whether you work at a typical 9-5 or have started your own company.

Editor Unleashed: Good, practical writing tips and advice

Hip Tranquil Chick: I owe Kimberly Wilson a lot- this was the first blog I ever read, the first podcast I ever subscribed to.  She introduced me to folks like Julia Cameron and Anne Lamont, and inspires me to do everything I want (because I feel like when she gets an idea, she goes for it, head on, full out.) 

Happy Reading,

Planning

Are you ever afraid that you have missed "it" but you don't know what "it" is?  That's the way I feel sometimes- I think a lot of the times "it" is my twenties, even though I have two years of twenties left.  Now, before I go on, I need to caveat this all with this statement: I love my life.  I love my kids, my husband and my house.  These are not things I'm wishing I didn't have or feel like are tying me down.

But...

I am so determined and so driven, almost like I'm afraid to let the wheels stop turning because of what the consequences might be, that I miss out on what is happening right here and now.  I miss out on cuddling with my kids because while I'm trying to rock them to sleep I read blogs on my phone, I miss out on relaxing with my husband because I am doing something else.  I see other people in their mid twenties flying off to go on vacations and cruises and wonder, #1, where do they get the money, and #2, why can't I do that?  Why am I so responsible?

But then I look around at my beautiful daughter and my adorable son, my handsome husband and cute dog and I see what they don't have.  I remember coming home at 3 and 4 am during college alone and lonely, and I'm glad that is no longer an issue.

So, all I guess I'm trying to say is that sometimes I feel like I missed out on something, but more often i feel bad for those who don't have what I do.

Amazing Blog

Okay- so I follow more blogs than I can keep up with, but I just added another one- Color Me Katie.  I found her based on an interview that Brooke at Playing Grown Up did. (BTW, Brooke's blog makes me feel so much better at wanting to stay young, even though I'm a 28 year old mom!) Katie does AMAZING, INSPIRING, ADORABLE art projects, and then shows the readers how to replicate them.  The picture is from her Chalk Walk.  You have got to check her out!

Oh- and my wireless mouse...

I forgot to mention that I hooked a wireless mouse up to Chris's computer (which the TV is plugged in to) so I don't even have to get up to change shows!  I'm excited, especially since I plan on sleeping up here until Chris gets home from the show tonight because going up and down the stairs does NOT feel good on my foot.

Good Night

So, I think I might have a stress fracture in my foot.  It hurts, bad.  But, we were out of milk and bread and eggs and all of the other stuff that is very necessary when you have a two year old who eats like a teenage boy, so I went grocery shopping.  On the way home, I stopped for gas and ran into the liqueur store for wine.  While there, I also picked up three of the tiny little liqueur bottles- Bailey's, Kahlula and Godiva Mocha.  Now, I'm sitting on the chaise, with ice on my foot, watching Ugly Betty on Hulu, and drinking an AMAZING drink (mix all three bottles together, shake).  And, from the sounds of it, both of the kids went to sleep already!  Woo hoo!

Great Quote:

Look to God as the source of all you want to see happen in your marriage, and dont worry about how it will happen. It's your responsibility to pray. It's God's job to answer. Leave it in His hands.

My Bookshelf

In December I bought myself a Kindle.  After I got over the shock and disappointment that the Harry Potter series isn't available, I quickly filled it with the free classics and have bought several books.  But I still have this bookshelf of books that I'm looking forward to reading.  It's taking me a little longer to get around to them than I would like, but I am very excited to dive into them.  All have been recommended by others to me, and I will be sure to pass along my thoughts.  Right now, I'm still reading On Writing
by Stephen King- it's part memoir, part "how-to-write" book.  I'm also reading Tranquilista: Mastering the Art of Enlightened Work and Mindful Play,
 Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences
(more about this in another post), The Power of a Praying® Wife Deluxe Edition,
 and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5). It's a bit much, I know.  I normally don't like to read more than one book at a time, but this time, well, I got a bit carried away.  Trying to cross them off my list one by one now.  The Kindle's Text-to-Speech feature is quite nice for car-time reading, even if it sounds like a See-n-Say is reading to me.

Update on January Goals

Here's how I ended up:


Complete one entire writing project.  Finished it today.  Not ready to share though.


Participate in a writing workshop either online or in person.
     Revised: Instead of doing the workshop, I found several that I will be participating in this year.  


Enter at least one writing contest.


Have an artist date per month. Actually got away to write more than once!  Thanks Chris!


Write every day. May not have been a lot, but it was done!


Write 10 query letters. Wrote 10 agent queries today that I will be sending out early this week (to avoid weekend inbox build-up.


Print 12 photographs and display in house. I printed them, but have yet to display them.


Complete The Pilates Lifestyle book proposal. WooHoo!!!! Starting to query agents this week!


Will work on February goals sometime this week, have a big deadline at work tomorrow so I doubt I will get them up right away.  Going to go a little easier on myself, this was a bit much.

It's Snowing!

It's snowing!!!!!

Sorry about my absence this week, but I have been diligently working on my goals and am happy to report that I can cross another off my list- I have finished my book proposal! My mom, aunt and husband now all have copies to comment on and mark up. My 10 query letters will be written this weekend and sent to possible agents. I'm so excited!

There are quite a few of the goals that I may not meet this month, considering there are only 2 days left, but we'll see. I may need to be a bit less ambitious in the next few months as work picks up.

Off to enjoy the snow!

Appliachian Trail

I'm watching a PBS special on the Appilachian Trail. I have no desire to hike it all the way through. I kind of wish I wanted to, but I really don't. Do you?

Amanda Moon

I'm Not Happy

I debated just posting this on my personal, private, diary like blog, and I may change my mind before I hit the "Publish Post" button, but right now I feel like having support from others wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I'm not going to go into it all, but let's just say that the past six months have not been easy for me or my family. And I don't get enough sleep, or anything that resembles enough sleep. Those things put together are overwhelming me to the point where I took yesterday off of work because I couldn't take it anymore.

I don't feel like I'm spending too much time obsessing over things in the past that I can't change, but I also don't feel like the terrible-ness is not over yet. And I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. All the time. It's a crappy way to live.

If you could keep me and my family in your prayers, we would appreciate it. Feel free to share any resources you have that you think might help!

I could fall off my chair

I'm so tired today I could fall off my chair. Literally, just fall over and fall asleep.

Austin has not slept at all the last two nights. He's been stuffy, irratable, won't eat...yep, he's TEETHING! Two new teeth in the last three days, one on top, one on the bottom. Hopefully now that they are fully through the skin he will start to sleep.

The eating has been weird, because he doesn't typically like to eat from a spoon, but lately if it's not on a spoon (if it's in a bottle) he is just not interested. From 3pm yesterday to 9 am this morning he drank a total of 8 oz. And that's because we made him. But when i tried to feed him cereal this morning he wolfed it down like his usual incredible eater-self.

Daily Intention & Thanks

Ala Kimberly Wilson my intention for the day is Tranquility. Based on my work calendar and the few emails I've opened in the 40 minutes I've been here, I know this is going to be a challenge. But, instead of getting all poopy and mad and crabby by 11am (my status quo these days) I intend to let it wash off of me. If I can't control it, I can't do anything about it, and I shouldn't let it get me down. That's where I'm at this morning.

Today, I am thankful for the black dress that I found on the clearance rack and Target, admired, and left there only to be haunted by it for the next 4 days. I went back and, crisis averted, it was still there in my size. I'm wearing it today and must say, I look amazing. And I feel amazing. The only sad thing is that I got dressed at the gym this morning so Chris hasn't had the opportunity to see how awesome I look.

Here's the dress (I've got black boots on with it):

Today I'm thankful for

• Kids who don't mind throwing up.
• A job that lets me work from home so I don't have to use up my vacation time because kids are sick
• My computer
• My roller
• My husband
• Exercise

We spent most of the night up with puking kids, so I didn't set an intention for the day other than a mental one to just get through it. Turned out not so bad. Both kids seemed to be fine as the day went on, minor fevers but no more vomit, thankfully. They both took incredibly long afternoon naps which meant that Chris and I got to nap too. I taught a great class and did what I'll call "Toddler Pilates" with Lily climbing all over me after I got home. All in all, not a bad day.

Floating Leaves

This is one of the pictures I printed as part of my goal to print and display 12 of my favorite pictures. I love how it seems like the leaves are just floating in air. They weren't falling- can you guess what was holding them up? I'll give you a clue- it made me scream.

Today, I am thankful for breakfast

I am going to try (again) to start a practice of setting an intention for each day and giving thanks for a few things.

Today, my intention is peace. I need some calm in my head and I am the only one that can acccomplish that.

I am thankful for:

• Cuddling with Lily this morning when I got home from the gym and it was too early for her to get up
• The quiet in the house as I flat ironed my hair
• The joy of jelly toast for a 2 year old
• My husband, who graciously gets up in the middle of the night with our kids so that I can have the energy to get up really early and exercise.

Cross one off the list!

I have accomplished one of my January goals- printing 12 pictures to display, gallery style, in the house. I have yet to buy the matting or display medium, but the pictures are printed and on my desk which is very exciting. Also, I have written in some way, shape or form every day so far. I have spent quite a bit of time working on Pilates Lifestyle Proposal and am excited that it looks like I really will have it done this month (I thought that goal was a bit ambitious, but good to work towards.)

All of the pictures that I printed seemed to have a "journey" theme which was interesting, because until I had narrowed it down to about 20 I didn't consciously acknowledge it. Once I noticed it I felt that it was rather appropriate for the start of the "journey" of 2010, so I went with it. I'll post some of the photos later when I'm at my other computer. Now, though, back to work!

Have a fantastic day!

This is how I started my day

This is my yoga mat. I started my day on it today, with some great music playing in the background. Now, remember, I'm a Pilates Instructor, not a yoga instructor, so I kind of make yoga up as I go along. In fact, my yoga practice is very similar to my Pilates practice before I got certified- I read a lot of books, try to learn as much as I can, and then put it into practice.

I will check my body bug in a bit to see exactly how much work I did, but I know that this (at least right now) can't replace my normal morning cardio. I'll have to get to the gym at another point today or get outside and go for a walk on my lunch break. But it could definitely become my strength regimen. I'm shaking.

---Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, I did do some Pilates too- but I wouldn't call what I did Yogalates or Piloga- I did yoga, then I did Pilates. I didn't try to mix the two. Too much thinking before the coffee.

Mmmm...coffee...that's where I'm headed. Have a great day!

Goals for January

In order to accomplish my yearly goals, I have to break them down into steps. Here is what I will accomplish this month:

January

In January I will:

Complete one entire writing project.

Participate in a writing workshop either online or in person.

Enter at least one writing contest.

Have an artist date per month.

Write every day.

Write 10 query letters.

Print 12 photographs and display in house.

Complete The Pilates Lifestyle book proposal.

Goals for 2010

Here are the goals I set last week, all compiled and SMART.

I complete one entire writing project each month.

I participate in a writing workshop either online or in person.

I enter at least one writing contest every month

I have one artist date per month.

I write every day.

I write 10 query letters per month

By 1/15/2010 I Print 12 photographs and display in house

By 1/31/2010 The Pilates Lifestyle book proposal is complete

By 2/1/2010 The Pilates Lifestyle blog begins with one post per weekday

By 2/28/2010 I have completed a “Best of” series of photographs

By 3/1/2010 My Etsy store is up and running with 10 pieces

By 4/1/2010 The Pilates Lifestyle book is complete.

By 5/15/2010 The Staircase Story is finished and published

By 6/1/2010 I have 1 paying writing gig per month

By 6/1/2010 The Book of Ruth is complete.

By 7/1/2010 I have samples of my clothing line made that I can work out in.

By 10/1/2010 I have a exhibited my photos.

By 12/31/2010 I have exhibited at a craft show/arts fair/farmer's market

By 12/31/2010 I have had three meetings with potential investors/sales for clothing line.

By 3/1/2011 My clothing line is for sale.

Needs Vs. Wants

I'm (once again) learning the difference between needs and wants. Like I want to go take Pilates classes every night, and drink a latte from Maxximo Joe's every morning, and quit my job so I can lay around and read and write and take naps all day, but that's just not realistic on our budget right now. So, while I want to go get my manicure refreshed by the amazing technician that I saw last week, I will spend this evening with my cotton balls, nail polish remover and nail polish, doing it myself. And that's okay, because my husband is gracious and lets me get my shopping bug filled with our needs- mainly diapers and formula these days, but shopping is shopping. And, I know that in a few years, I will be able to get my wants more often because we will have saved the money we need to make our family feel secure.

But...I will admit that I still want to go to the mall and buy a pair of knee high brown boots. I never claimed to be perfect.

Book Review: The Sweet By and By by Sara Evans and Rachel Hauck

5 Stars -- Refreshing Read!

The Sweet By and By
is the story of a woman being forced to deal with her past before moving on to her future. Jade Freedom Fitzgerald is finally getting ready for the life she dreamed of- a marriage to a man who made her feel safe and loved, feelings she didn’t experience from her high achieving judge father or galavanting hippie mother. She and fiance Max made an agreement “The past is the past.” Unfortunately, the past doesn’t always remain in the past.

The Sweet By and By
is incredibly well written with engaging characters that you find yourself rooting for and identifying with, with a story that weaves past and present together seamlessly. It’s one of those books that makes you feel good when you read it. There are no huge surprises in the story, at the same time it isn’t utterly predicable. The spiritual theme is naturally incorporated into the story line without feeling forced or contrived.

Between Sleep and Awake

I dream. A lot. Very detailed. And often, I remember most of the details. Sometimes my dreams are good, sometimes I have nightmares. Two nights ago I dreamed that fake police officers who were doing a drug deal in Kroger were trying to kill my daughter and I so we couldn't implicate them. They were stopped by campus security at Austin Peay State University in Clarksville, where they had tailed us to from Nashville.

This morning, in the 9 minutes between my snoozes, I had a dream about the people in my dreams. I dreamed I was on a subway, or some sort of silver train, and there were all of these people that I knew or that I had interacted with recently and they were all just sitting, staring at me, waiting for me to "cast" them in my dream. There were real people, and people who were a blend of people. Some faces I could see, some I just sensed who they were.

My husband doesn't remember his dreams. Do you remember yours?

Breakfast with my book

On Sundays, I like to cook breakfast for my family. Usually it's pancakes, but this morning I was feeling the waffles. So, with just over an hour before we needed to leave for church, I whipped some up. The problem with whipping up breakfast with so little time is that everyone needs to eat as the waffles come off the griddle, leaving the cook to eat alone. Never fear though, I had a great book to read! (And yes, that is peanut butter on my waffles. I like peanut butter on waffles, pancakes and french toast. You can thank my dad for introducing me.)

Look what was in my yard!

When we got home from Kentucky yesterday, there was a deer in our front yard. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of it because the camera on my iPhone took too long to open, but here is a picture of the deer that was in our back yard earlier in the fall. The one that was in our front yard yesterday was a fawn- looked like he had just lost his spots and was very frightened. I felt sorry for him, but he seemed to make it back to the woods just fine.

Another Goal

Enter at least one writing contest every month of 2010.

Recapping 2009 and looking toward 2010

2009 was a reactive year for me. The word I chose for the year was searching, but I think either is actually apprpriate. I spent the year searching for what I wanted and reacting to what was in front of me. I want to focus on not being reactive, but proactive in 2010. I want to live my life instead of it living me.

A lot of the chaos in 2009 was because of my unhealthy pregnancy and the problems I had at work. I spent a lot of time working on how to releive my stress enough that I would no longer have blood pressure problems and was not successful. I spent a lot of time resting, which is fine- I need to draw from that resting time now.

I have some goals I've been carrying over from year to year and I no longer want to do that. In 2010 I will:

1) Make some progress on the clothing line. I will have samples made that I can work out in. I will have three meetings with potential investors/sales. The clothes will be for sale in 2011.

2) I will exhibit my photos. Even if that exhibit is just hanging them all around our house and having friends over. I will exhibit them.

3) I will complete The Book of Ruth by June 1, 2010.

4) I will complete The Pilates Lifestyle by April 1, 2010.

5) I will write every day.

I will now combine my goals (I have them in 3 places) and make a pretty piece showing all of them so that I can set monthly goals to work towards.

Podcasting

Kicking around the idea of trying a Podcast, but worried that I post so sporadically here and my other blog that adding something else isn't a good idea. But Austin is starting to go to bed earlier at night, maybe I can set a schedule to make my creative things start to happen???

Thoughts for 2010

I will add to this list in the next week, but some goals I have for 2010:

1) Sell photos and jewelry at at least one craft show/arts fair/farmer's market

2) Set up etsy store for photos and jewelry

3) Create more photo galleries in my house like the one in my room

4) One artist date per month

5) Do morning pages every day
*******Yes, I know this is a lofty goal- doing anything every day short of brushing my teeth is a lofty goal, but it is who I want to be--an artist, an author. This I will do for myself.***********

6) Sell one article a month FOR MONEY beginning in June. Which means I have to start the submissions process now.

7) Take (as in, read) the free online writing courses I've found

8) Do one COMPLETE writing project a month. What I mean by COMPLETE: begin and end a piece of writing ala NANO. The editing can come later.

Merry Christmas

I hope your day has been filled with love and laughter!

Amanda Moon

I don't cry anymore

I don't cry anymore
I want to, my heart aches with the same intesity
But my eyes stay dry
My jaw set so hard that it hurts

I don't cry anymore
I want to scream, kick, stamp and throw
But I sit quiety and pretend to be happy
Looking at others- do you think they know?

I don't cry anymore
Betrayl feels old hat
Instead I curl up on my bed
When I sleep I can shut it all out

I don't cry anymore
And I don't feel anymore hope
I'm not surprised enough to be hurt
It is what it is, this is where I'm at

Quest for a bag

I am on a quest. I am searching for the Holy Grail of handbags- one that is cute and still big enough to carry my computer, a notebook, a book or two (until Santa brings me a Kindle) my phone, wallet and all the various cords I have. And keep it all organized. I have a Timbuk2 tote now that carries it all but doesn't organize. I'm looking at the letter bag at moop.com. Any other suggestions?

Amanda Moon